On a continent far, far away, the Chief Party Animal got loose:

G'day Mates! This is Sydney Action News Channel 13.

First up, an interview with the visiting Texas Terror, who's joined us here in Oz down-under for...well...ahmmm...you be the judge:

Mr. Preznitwit, could you tell us what you are doing here?

Me and the Princess are here on our honeymoon. Whooops...ah mean me and Condi are here at this here OPEC conference. Whooops...ah mean me and Condi are here in Austria to elope on the ski slopes. Whooops...ah mean me and Condi are here...jest WTF are we doin' here Condi honey?

Oh yeah, now ah remember. Laura Belle had a pain in the neck, so she tol' me to git outa town fer a while.

So here ah am, gettin' some ass...whooops...ah mean kickin' some ass.

Next, we gonna be wrasslin' some kangaroos...in jello...with Condi...whooops...mebbe you'd better be drivin' Condi honey?

Condi "Still technically a virgin" Rice had no comment. Neither did the kangaroos.